Saturday, August 09, 2008

Wait for the best

I was watching 'Dawson's Creek' last night (yes, I kinda like Dawson's Creek, so sue me). It was the episode where two of the main characters Pacey and Joey consummate their relationship physically, after 10 months together.

For Joey, it is her first time.

They are a young couple deeply in love with a strong commitment to each other, and the whole episode is essentially their story of why they are having sex and what real sex actually is. The conclusion is of course, that it is the most intimate act that two people can ever enter into with anyone.

When at the culmination of a loving relationship, it becomes more than a physical act, it becomes emotional, mental, even spiritual (though that is not mentioned).

At the end of the episode the couple start the process, and as the screen fades to black you see them falling onto their bed, still half-clothed, but the implication is clear.

To my great surprise, I found myself weeping.

Why? For many reasons. But I think for the first time I finally got it.

Let me explain.

For a long time I've said to many people (especially non-Christians) why I believe that intercourse should be saved for marriage, but yesterday it really hit home for some reason.

The truth is that sex is too special, too intimate, too private and too emotional for it to be shared with anyone else. Its more than a physical act. Its the whole of one person becoming one with another, giving your whole self in surrender to someone else.

I don't think you can do that with more than one person.

God made sex for marriage, and that's because He wants us to have His best for us.

Not to restrict us or deny us pleasure - God loves sex (He invented it, He told Adam and Eve to pro-create, I'm thinking He's pro-sex).

But He knows sex in its best context is within the context of a loving, committed relationship within marriage.

Non-Christians who I talk to about it often say to me 'What if you're rubbish? You'll have had no practice. You won't be good enough and she might leave you".

That to me is totally missing the point.

First of all if I marry someone who's never had sex neither of us will know any different, and then we can 'get good' together, which is much more fun. Second, its saying that it's just a physical act, which of course it isn't. When you have a deep connection with someone, you love them unconditionally and have total trust in them then it becomes good.

Its more than just a physical act, in God's eyes sex is the ultimate consummation of any relationship between two people, two people becoming essentially one person, one spirit, one being. Totally united physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and psychologically.

Total union. No going back. For life. A total union between two people made in the image of God.

I finally got this watching Dawson's Creek, and realised just how special this kind of love and intimacy is, and how amazing it is. I understood in my heart why this is so special and why its really worth waiting for.

God's best for me, with someone I love, trust, am totally committed to and can give myself fully to. More than just a physical union, but total union, two becoming one.

Now I just need to meet that someone...